Eleven kids enter and only one kid leaves.
On Thursday night,
Motherbumper and I blogged the 2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee. Here's the transcript:
Chag: And here's Tom Bergeron. I was really hoping they'd get someone new this year.
Motherbumper: OH NO NOT TOM BERGERON AGAIN
Chag: Cool! These kids have groupies. I see homemade signs in the audience!
Motherbumper: This is awesome. HOPE MONTAGE
Chag: I think Scrabble can sue for the "Hope" montage in the credits.
Motherbumper: The dreaded bell, I love it. And who was that Jeopardy kid?
Chag: No idea.
Motherbumper: Serena is the punk rock girl.
Chag: Definitely. She's got cool hair.
Motherbumper: SIDHARTH! Go dude
Chag: Sidharth! My money's on him. 2nd last year, 1st this year.
Motherbumper: Tim is a totally loveable square tho' gotta love his Star Wars and LOTR devotion
Chag: Tim looked nervous in his opening "getting to know you" thing.
Motherbumper: Yes he did but this isn't a comiccon, this is the big time.
Motherbumper:Scrabble has a total reason to sue if I see anymore random words in the sand
Chag: Ooh! She's an artist too.
Motherbumper: She got through Twilight in three hours - this is my girl
Chag: I'm rooting for Serena, but my money's on Sidharth. I still haven't gotten into Twilight.
Motherbumper: OH serena has a temper. I love it.
Chag: Ok. They didn't really need to spell effervescent for us, did they?
Motherbumper: Maybe it was for me (my spelling makes teachers go into omphaloskepsis)
Motherbumper: I don't think I can take looking at Tom being so casual. Could they put a desk in front of these men?
Chag: I know. Or at least film them from the waist up.
Motherbumper: Kyle likes to mutter but he can spell like a cool kid.
Motherbumper:I meant mumble, the kid mumbles
Chag: Is Kyle awake?
Motherbumper: I would hazard a guess at no
Motherbumper:Aishwarya has letters in her necklace - is that cheating?
Motherbumper:I'm a deipnosophist! Totally.
Chag: Aishwarya seems like a badass.
Motherbumper: I can totally talk to tables.
Motherbumper: Aishwarya's mother looks like a bad ass.
Motherbumper: Sidharth doesn't know rock paper scissors, how cute is that?
Chag: I feel sorry for him.
Motherbumper: Sidharth will be a neurosurgeon one day and he will be beating women off with sticks. I hope.
Motherbumper: Actually that sounds bad. He'll be turning them away for miles around.
Motherbumper: Just to be clear folks: Sidharth does not use sticks on women.
Chag: Yes. We don't want a lawsuit.
Chag: Dude! We have comments.
Motherbumper: REALLY? awesome.
Motherbumper: Always thinking dude, always thinking.
Motherbumper: Kennyi = Wisdom. What a cute kid.
Chag: He was even happy as a baby.
Chag: Ok. I'm beginning to think Scrabble paid for this product placement.
Chag: Kennyi's funny.
Motherbumper: I suppose this would be the place to plug the product.
Motherbumper: At least they know the audience can spell. I hope.
Chag: I don't think so. That's why they show the words for us as the kids spell them.
Motherbumper: Kennyi's trying not to laugh. I love this kid.
Motherbumper: He's got the attitude! LOVE IT.
Chag: Proud Dad!
Chag: Hydragyrum? There's no way to say that word without slurring.
Motherbumper: Kavya also dreams of being a neurosurgeon. Most of these kids seem to have that on their list of professions.
Chag: Whatever happened to wanting to be a fireman?
Motherbumper: GO SIDHARTH!
Motherbumper: Who has hairy hands...
Chag: Sidharth's mustache is filling in nicely.
Motherbumper: Another year and that puppy will be completely filled in.
Chag: I wonder if these kids could spell with their hands tied behind their backs.
Motherbumper: I think it's safe to say: Nope.
Chag: The rules: 1. You do not talk about Spelling Bee. 2. You do not talk about Spelling Bee.
Motherbumper: Now it's interesting to note that Tussah who is up next, is a fan of Michael Phelps and she also is interested in botany. I wonder if she could hazard a guess at what Michael Phelps favourite plant would be? [insert pot joke here]
Chag: Actually, there's only one rule: spell the damn word right.
Motherbumper: Tussah is NERVOUS!
Chag: Very nervous. And quit throwing those extra u's around!
Motherbumper: STOP ME - Canadians get testy when it comes to the "U"s
Chag: Don't faint, Tussah.
Motherbumper: DANG - she missed an R
Chag: And Tussah is our first casualty!
Motherbumper: First out and she sits on mom's lap. OH SWEET.
Motherbumper: Now the tears, poor thing.
Motherbumper: Neetu is enthusiastic!
Chag: Awful limity?
Motherbumper: I have no idea. I think they make these words up.
Chag: Definitely.
Chag: Fast speller! She rocks!
Motherbumper: ophelimity: Economic Satisfaction? Is there such a thing if you aren't a millionaire?
Chag: Ok. More Erin Andrews for now on!
Motherbumper: Who is this beauty queen interviewing the kids?
Motherbumper: She is wearing a chain around her neck.
Chag: Dude! That's ESPN's own Erin Andrews.
Motherbumper: Really? Seriously? She needs to fire her dresser.
Chag: I'll be her dresser!
Chag: Anasazi. Just spell it already.
Motherbumper: Anamika would like to be a cardiovascular surgeon and in her spare time write books. Um, Anamika - don't have kids or forget the book girlfriend.
Motherbumper: CYNICAL - you dog!
Chag: I want to hear his Gollum.
Motherbumper: Oh the wit of these spelly people
Motherbumper: psittacosis - they really do make this shit up
Motherbumper: Oh Tim, he gives very fragile high fives
Chag: Cross-promotion time! Dancing with the stars.
Chag: And they're showing Sidharth's lack of rock/paper/scissors knowledge again.
Motherbumper: Television has never really had any sham with the cross promotions. And Sidharth provides excellent sound and action bites, I'm sure of that.
Chag: Yeah, but ESPN/ABC seems to be the worst at it.
Chag: Worst offender, I should've said.
Motherbumper: I dunno, I glaze over each time I hear Dancing with the Stars.. Bring back Battle of the Stars or that Circus of the Stars - NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!
Chag: We're probably not to far from that coming back to television.
Motherbumper: Or Thunderdome of the Stars - I'd watch that.
Chag: Ok. When he said Shawn Johnson earlier, I was expecting a guy.
Motherbumper: same here - I have no idea who this is.
Chag: The kids are up there bored. This interview is going nowhere!
Motherbumper: That was a waste of time.
Chag: She asked "Can you use it in a sentence?" not a paragraph.
Chag: Geusioleptic? What's wrong with tasty?
Motherbumper: Go Ramya! Geusioleptic - if some guy said that to me, I'd slam his head with my kneecaps. This isn't a family show, is it?
Motherbumper: Serena is such a skater girl
Chag: I bet her spelling finger has black nail polish.
Motherbumper: Nooooooooo
Chag: NO! I didn't want to see her leave!
Motherbumper: That sucks.
Motherbumper: Okay, Kyle has woken up for round two.
Chag: Wow. Kyle made the top 10 last year, too.
Chag: I wonder what these kids do once they age-out of the Bees?
Motherbumper: Woah, he's 13? this would be his last year, wouldn't it?
Chag: I believe so.
Motherbumper: My money is: they spell for alcohol and joints in the school parking lot.
Chag: I like Aishwarya. Cocky.
Motherbumper: tagliatelle - why not say noodles?
Motherbumper: really, why complicate things folks. If I wrote the dictionary it would be so much better.
Motherbumper: It would be 26 pages long.
Chag: Confident. Cocky. Whatever.
Motherbumper: 24 - I'd eliminate X and J
Motherbumper: Aishwarya is cocky. And I love it.
Chag: Mine would be even shorter. I can use the word cool or awesome to describe damn near anything.
Motherbumper: show off
Motherbumper: damn... THAT
Motherbumper: 'S TRUE!
Chag: Ok. Are you speaking in code now?
Motherbumper: Yes, hit carriage return on this fancy typewriter thing and now I'm all screwed up.
Chag: Ok. This I Put A SPell On You montage is creeping me out.
Motherbumper: OKAY - these opening montage back from commercial things are hurting me.
Chag: Do they not know the guy that sings that is a vampire?
Motherbumper: yeah.. Kennyi is ready
Chag: I think Kennyi is auditioning for his own show.
Motherbumper: Did he just same DAMN
Motherbumper: ?
Chag: They're trying to be way too hip with the sentences this year.
Chag: Guyascutus sounds like something Tim would know more about.
Motherbumper: Yes, they must have been told by executives to up the hip quotion.
Motherbumper: Guyascutus sounds like another made up word - by a 13 year old girl talking about her first crush.
Chag: I thought Kennyi was getting ready to crash and burn there.
Chag: Oh no! Kaya's body can burn grass!
Motherbumper: This girl is hardcore. Kavya is dedicated.
Chag: I think hardcore can be used to define ALL of these contestants.
Motherbumper: She never asks for a definition - not even as a time killer? Come on girlfriend...
Motherbumper: I suppose they are all hardcore but some more than others.
Chag: BTW. You used the word "quotion" above. Can you use that in a sentence?
Motherbumper: no
Motherbumper: I'm not on stage dude
Motherbumper: blancmange - that's Canadian wordage
Motherbumper: Okay, her sister is super cute.
Chag: Her little sister seems happy for her.
Motherbumper: SIDHARTH!
Chag: Super Sid!
Chag: Apple Die Terium?
Chag: Waiting for you to make the Greek bath joke.
Motherbumper: apodyterium - the definition makes it sound like a massage parlour or men's club but usage made it even worse.
Motherbumper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Chag: OH MY GOD! Super Sid bites it!
Motherbumper: Oh nozzzzzz
Motherbumper: And he's so bummed. So am I Sid, so am I.
Chag: Derriengue. It's a dessert that goes straight to your ass.
Motherbumper: Booyah!
Motherbumper: OH NOZZZZ Neetu is gone
Chag: Damn! They're dropping like flies now.
Chag: What was it about the word that gave you the most problems? Um... spelling it?
Chag: I'm not too upset. Because I have a life away from spelling.
Motherbumper: yes, the questions are never that great in these interview things...
Motherbumper: Anamika is totally buying time.
Chag: Totally stalling. She has no idea how to spell simnel.
Chag: She pulled it through!
Motherbumper: Tim's up!
Chag: Ruiter!
Motherbumper: Fav Musician is They May Be Giants - love it.
Chag: Favorite Musician: They Might Be Giants!
Motherbumper: ha!
Chag: Cool! We both can read!
Motherbumper: My helper monkey told me.
Motherbumper: Tim has to learn some posture techniques.
Chag: If Kennyi wins this, he'll be all over the tv for the next week.
Motherbumper: He will be an easy sell for the morning show circuits.
Chag: Ok. Can't they leave these poor seafood guys alone?
Motherbumper: nope - they will always tease the seafood guys
Chag: And of course we have to see the Euonym Girl.
Motherbumper: Axel-lottel - that's what happened to Stephanie Seymour, isn't it?
Chag: Is he reading the from the encyclopedia or the dictionary?
Motherbumper: He spent a lot of time coming up with these blurbs.
Chag: I don't like spelling!
Motherbumper: Kyle is competitive and doesn't like spelling. I love this boy.
Chag: Laid back. Or asleep.
Motherbumper: he is fueled by hatred.
Motherbumper: that is disguised in indifference
Chag: And now let's plug Wipeout.
Motherbumper: I have these urges to watch Wipeout
Chag: The greatest show in the History Of Mankind!
Chag: Hey! I spelled goombay right!
Motherbumper: Aishwarya always asks the most questions - she's like the bad cop
Motherbumper: I want Kennyi to win
Chag: Yes! And Kennyi lives to see another round.
Chag: So do I.
Chag: You checking the comments? FADKOG wants a "fueled by hatred disguised by indifference" t-shirt. I smell an Etsy shop.
Motherbumper: Kavya and her imaginary pen do it again!
Chag: Now we'll pimp the NBA!
Chag: I can spell NBA.
Motherbumper: Let's have a moment of silence for Sidharth's spot
Motherbumper: Now we move on to Anamika!
Chag: Kelly Clarkson is her favorite singer. I didn't think Clarkson would be anyone's favorite singer.
Motherbumper: Is that even possible?
Motherbumper: Go Tim!
Chag: Viscinosis? They want Tim out.
Motherbumper: TOTALLY
Motherbumper: I'd go for V too
Chag: Dark chocolate and TMBG? I'm ready to adopt Tim.
Motherbumper: OMG - he got it
Motherbumper: He's huggable.
Chag: Stop there.
Motherbumper: are you telling me to stop talkinga bout hugging Tim or just stop typing dammit!
Chag: I just wanted to stop you before the hugging led to other things.
Chag: Can we put an end to the $5 footlong commercials?
Motherbumper: I'm not pulling a Letterino dude, no fears.
Motherbumper: But he does look like my first boyfriend... I'm totally kidding.
Chag: There are a lot of kids left. I hope it doesn't end in a tie.
Motherbumper: Can that happen?
Chag: Yes.
Motherbumper: Didn' t I ask you the exact same question at this exact time last year?
Chag: There are only x number of rounds. Solve for x, because I don't know the answer.
Chag: There is no need for the word iliopsoas to exist.
Chag: I think Kyle's ready to go home to bed.
Chag: I have always loved the word coquette.
Motherbumper: I think Kyle is too cool for this.
Motherbumper: Aishwarya kinda scares me with her questions.
Chag: I know. Her voice is deeper than mine.
Motherbumper: tick tock tick tock tick tock
Motherbumper: our first time clock goes yellow now
Motherbumper: tick tock tick tock tick tock
Chag: Did you notice the time? HELL YES I NOTICED THE TIME!
Motherbumper: And she got that made up word XEBEC
Motherbumper: If she had time, she would have sassed him first
Motherbumper: Kennyi is a total ham
Chag: Kennyi talks to himself a lot, though.
Chag: Grisaille? Isn't that Tom Brady's wife?
Motherbumper: hey-o!
Chag: You know, I have no trouble believing Ozzy needs a GPS system to find his bathroom.
Motherbumper: I was just thinking the same thing. I wonder how many takes it took to get that coherent?
Chag: Um. Apparently they stopped before they reached coherence.
Motherbumper: it was better than expected. Though I have no idea what he actually said and was selling. But the Samsung bag helped.
Motherbumper: I think Stand and Stuff Taco shells are pure genius.
Chag: Flat-bottomed tacos! Why the hell hasn't this been invented before now?
Motherbumper: Here comes the Newlyweds? Oh my, the 70s are back in full force
Motherbumper: but hybrid with Fear Factor set left-overs
Chag: How do you get a ticket to be in the studio audience at the Bee?
Chag: Tom and the other guy sure seem to enjoy these sentences.
Motherbumper: They are worth a chuckle
Motherbumper:Anamika gets Nutella?
Motherbumper:Neufchatel? Ninehouses?
Chag: I thought they said newchapelle. As in we will never see any new Chapelle shows.
Motherbumper: ha! I will never tire of Dave Chapelle jokes
Motherbumper: no tripping this girl up!
Chag: Mom is a little too excited.
Motherbumper: Wake up Tim!
Chag: Oh wait, that was Grandma.
Motherbumper: Tim gets crouton?
Chag: Crouton?
Motherbumper: what the hell?
Motherbumper: ohhhh cre-tonne
Motherbumper: like what the kids used to call me at school
Chag: Can you use the word in a short story please?
Chag: Actaully, I was think cretin at first, too.
Chag: Cool! I can't even spell actually.
Chag: But at least I'm not making up words like quotion.
Motherbumper: zing with that short story dig - so true. This guy stayed up all night coming up with these "use in a sentence" dealios. He probably is secretly saying to himself as each kid comes up "ask to use it in a sentence, come on now, ASK"
Chag: All night? He's been busy on these for at least a week, maybe a month.
Motherbumper: And don't think I didn't notice that "quotion" dig boy - I can make up words if I want to.
Motherbumper: I was pretending to be a studio exec! anything goes!
Chag: This thing ain't ending at 10.
Motherbumper: It ran over last year too.
Motherbumper: I though he said "Um, uh - revelle"
Motherbumper: But it's bitterness - amarevole.
Chag: I think she's saying it right. Move along.
Chag: Shouldn't we be at the yellow light by now?
Chag: Ding!
Motherbumper: Oh that sucks. Ramya is out.
Motherbumper: I wonder if they have a stick on stage to wake folks like Kyle.
Chag: Did you see LuvMyLabby's comment about Tim having a Church Lady smirk? Good stuff.
Chag: It's past his bedtime.
Motherbumper: OMG - Tim is the church lady!
Motherbumper: Prepare youself. Aishwarya is yellin'!
Chag: Aishwarya looked pissed before she even heard the word.
Motherbumper: Lots of cheese words tonight - or is that just me?
Chag: God I hope she wins.
Chag: Wow. You and Tom both with the cheese comments.
Motherbumper: Make one separated at birth joke, and I break your knees.
Chag: She's going to miss this one. The spelling's too weird.
Chag: Caerphilly.
Motherbumper: Caerphilly. Why not just buy philly, it's easier.
Motherbumper: booyah!
Chag: Proved me wrong!
Motherbumper: Pal-o-chicken?
Chag: Pollo chicken?
Motherbumper: palatschinken?
Motherbumper: they are making this stuff up
Chag: Yeah. And throwing in a lot of unnecessary consonants.
Chag: Kennyi hears voices.
Motherbumper: I think you are right - but he
Motherbumper: OH NOZZZZZZ
Motherbumper: KENNYI NOOOO
Chag: Aw man!
Chag: Just Tim & Aishwarya to root for now.
Motherbumper: Tim's my dude. Though I'm Aishwarya will yell at me if I don't root for her.
Chag: A cock says?
Motherbumper: tee hee hee
Chag: Ecossaise.
Motherbumper: oh yah, she played her organ
Motherbumper: fackeltanz?
Motherbumper: some german guy asked me to do that one time but I said no
Chag: Ponkletonts or whatever the hell he's saying in another unnecessary word.
Chag: Bad-da-duh!
Motherbumper: I'm going to say I'm surprised that Anamika has made it this far.
Chag: I can't even HEAR what they're saying let alone begin to spell these words.
Chag: Ding!
Motherbumper: ohnozzzzz!
Motherbumper: bye bye Anamika
Motherbumper: Here comes to Tim!
Motherbumper: Jack Minnow!?
Chag: Jack Minnow?
Motherbumper: JINX
Motherbumper: jacqueminot - srsly? these are the words?
Motherbumper: He's Dad is rocking the facial hair
Motherbumper: HIS DAD - my goodness - I can't spell tonight.
Chag: Yeah. I noticed that beard earlier. But I grew up with a lot of Amish people, so I refrained.
Motherbumper: No mocking. I'm respecting the beard and 'stache.
Chag: I HAVE to see Land Of The Lost on opening weekend.
Motherbumper: I want to see Land of the Lost so bad
Chag: That and that Zack Zalskdjalksjflkjlj movie with Mike Tyson about that night in Vegas.
Motherbumper: I thought I had made that show up until I saw the promo for that movie. My brain works that way.
Chag: Zach Galifianakis we'll call him. Since that's his name and all.
Motherbumper: I do not know this film - I must check it out.
Chag: The Hangover.
Motherbumper: What are all these people doing together in one commercial?
Chag: It's just a big promo for the network.
Motherbumper: I had it on mute, it confused me.
Chag: Aren't you used to seeing this by now? The Spelling Bee has just been one big promo for the network.
Chag: Scizofiend!
Chag: That's me.
Motherbumper: I don't watch American channels in real time. There I said it.
Chag: Oh wait. Schizaffin.
Motherbumper: I PVR everything.
Motherbumper: I've been called that - schizaffin
Motherbumper: And yer' out!
Chag: He can go to bed now!
Motherbumper: Go sleep Kyle.
Motherbumper: Aishwarya is on the war path
Motherbumper: she's kicking butt
Chag: Man. She went with the w. She rocks!
Chag: Wisent.
Chag: Dye a seal?
Motherbumper: Joe Biden's wife is there? woah.
Chag: Like she's got something else to do on a Thursday night.
Motherbumper: true enough - survivor is over now.
Chag: Poor Tim. He just gave up halfway through those pronunciations.
Motherbumper: booyah!
Chag: Ooh! Championship Word time!
Motherbumper: I wish they would call this sudden death
Chag: Ooh. she's pissing off the judges.
Motherbumper: antonomasia - you've been dooced Aishwarya!
Chag: Yes!
Chag: Bookie meast?
Motherbumper: Wookie Meat?
Chag: How are these championship words determined? We just throw a lot of letters together and make these words up.
Wookie Meat wins.
Motherbumper: foraflam?
Chag: Ora flem.
Chag: I was in a band called Flem once. Totally true story.
Motherbumper: seriously?
Chag: See, it was Phlegm, but we were totally punk and called it Flem.
Chag: We ruled.
Motherbumper: that is so punk rock
Motherbumper: Why a beara?
Motherbumper: guayabear - they ARE making these words up
Chag: So it's a t-shirt, is what you're telling us. Much easier to say than guayabera.
Motherbumper: omg, it is just a shirt.
Chag: Stay golden, Pony Boy.
Motherbumper: tick tock tick tock
Motherbumper: yellow light!
Motherbumper: booyah!
Chag: Sorry. I have to say that anytime I hear the word gold or golden.
Motherbumper: I see Yoshi?
Chag: Another forty-second sentence for isagoge.
Chag: Do their finger pencils have erasers?
Motherbumper: seriously - was the word even in that speech?
Motherbumper: 19 words to go!
Chag: Men hear?
Motherbumper: no - no they don't
Chag: BOO! HISS!
Motherbumper: way to defend the sex there dude
Motherbumper: sophrosyne - booyah!
Chag: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Motherbumper: OH NOZZZZ Aishwarya is out
Chag: I hate to see these kids crying when they go out.
Chag: My Cenis?
Chag: Detachable Cenis.
Motherbumper: giggle
Chag: Maecenas.
Motherbumper: noooooooooooooooooo
Chag: Aw man! It's over, then. Right?
Chag: Wrong.
Chag: C'mon, miss it!
Motherbumper: Nope - Tim and his high waist band might be back.
Chag: I want Tim & Aishwarya back.
Motherbumper: she won't miss- she's the terminator
Chag: She's smiling. She knows Laodicean.
Motherbumper: totally - she's teasing with her finger pen
Motherbumper: BOOY AH!
Chag: And it's over!
Motherbumper: Kavya is representing Kansas!
Motherbumper: Go Kavya!
Chag: What does the E.W. Scripps Company do?
Motherbumper: run spelling bees based on made up words about cheese.
Hello. My name is Chag Holland. I am a major pop culture junkie and music lover. I like to photograph weird things. I am a conspiracy theorist and an amateur cryptozoologist. I am an avid sports fan and follow the Yankees, Panthers, and Tar Heels. I am a stay-at-home dad and have two wonderful children and one beautiful wife. I write about all this stuff.
