Memorial Day

Years ago, before I met Ella, the Memorial Day holiday meant driving to the shore with the guys and trying to use my charm to spend some "quality time" with girls we met on the beach. Oh wait — I can't fool you. You've seen my picture. You know all the charm in the world couldn't overcome this face.

So what does the Memorial Day weekend mean today? It means preschool graduation, the start of summer, yard work, and dryer shopping. Life in the fast lane, bitches!

The End Of An Era?

Zoey's last day of preschool was Friday. Like her previous two end-of-year programs, we were treated to a few songs from the entire preschool followed by a picnic on the church's front lawn. Zoey sang all the songs, smiled the entire time, and did all the hand movements. Perhaps she's ready for kindergarten?

I don't know anymore. We've been struggling with this issue for some time and had decided to send her to kindergarten this fall. But that was before we learned of Zed's diagnosis. We'll be spending a lot of time this summer working on his therapy. I don't know if we'll be able to teach Zoey how to write uppercase and lowercase letters, count to one hundred, speak fluent French, write to thirty, perform minor surgery, and the rest of her kindergarten requirements.

Holding her back another year doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

I Hate Yard Work

I'm not one of those guys who spends all his time on his lawn, trying to outdo his neighbors, waking up early every Saturday morning to massage his grass. Basically, I do the bare minimum to keep the Community Association out of my hair.

That said, I spent a good part of Saturday out in the lawn getting Cynical Land: America's Destination For Family Fun™ ready for its summer season. Mowed the lawn, pulled weeds, and trimmed some trees.

I even got the bright idea to plant our super duper huge beach umbrella in our mulch pit (the umbrella was just collecting dust in the garage since we bought it at a yard sale; it was time to actually put it to some use). It's hard enough planting an umbrella in the sand, but mulch is worse. The mulch isn't dense enough to actually hold the umbrella. So I had to dig through the two feet of mulch, the plastic underneath the mulch, and six or eight inches of dirt beneath the plastic in order to plant the thing. It looks ridiculous as the tips of the umbrella are only four feet off the ground. But the kids aren't that tall yet and it provides some shade for them, so it was worth it.

But I fear it won't withstand a 5 MPH wind.

Window Of Opportunity

We spent most of Sunday afternoon shopping for a new dryer. You know how lots of people like to joke and claim their dryers eat socks? Well, our dryer really did eat socks. And shirts. And pants. And thongs. It showed no discrimination in its appetite. Basically, clothes would get caught in part of the dryer and holes slightly smaller than a dime would be burned into the clothes.

I called a repairman out to the house last week to take a look at the thing (free estimate, of course). He said it would cost $192 to fix it. Since the dryer was nine years old and he told me a dryer typically only lasts eight years or so, we decided to buy a new dryer. Of course, I had to drive to six different places to get the best deal possible.

They told us they'd deliver the thing on Memorial Day between the hours of noon and four. Which was cool with me because I knew it was supposed to be hotter than Hades today and I'd rather be handcuffed to the house during the hot afternoon hours and have the relatively cooler morning hours free.

The kids and I played outside after breakfast this morning. Around ten, we headed to the grocery store. Twenty minutes after I was in the store, my cellular phone rang. It was the appliance store, telling me the drivers were en route to my home to deliver the dryer. So I ran through the grocery store, grabbing a few more essentials, before heading home.

When we got there, the guys were waiting for us. "I thought you guys weren't supposed to be here until after noon?" I said. "Yeah," the guy replied. "But we got through with our morning schedule early and hoped you'd let us come early. We're trying to go home early today." And they even helped me carry in my groceries.

Hope your Memorial Day weekend was far more eventful than mine.

Song of the day: Pleasant Valley Sunday by The Monkees