Dear Ms. Mom O'Four--
It's been great getting to know you and your little ones during the past eighteen months. I've had lots of fun talking with you and watching our kids play. Our daughters seem to have a wonderful time when they get together.
However, I regret to inform you that effective immediately, Playgroup Local 501 will no longer need you or your children's services. It's a decision we feel is best for all concerned parties.
I imagine it must be tough taking care of four kids. I would think you would have to depend on the kindness of strangers quite often. But you have been abusing our kindness.
Remember when your son Johnny fell in the ditch and broke his arm while you were watching ducks with your daughter halfway across the playground? And the countless times your baby sat in her stroller crying while you were off with one of your kids? Do you remember who comforted her? That's right, we did.
We always do.
And don't even get me started on Billy, your poor ten-year-old who just sits there with a dead look in his eyes, painfully bored because he doesn't wish to play with ten three-year-olds. Buy the kid a Game Boy or something.
It's nice to spend some quality one-on-one time with your children, but you need to learn to keep your eyes on your other children as well, instead of assuming one of us will pick up your slack. I'm usually Mr. It Takes A Village and "Rah! Rah! Team!," but I am sick and tired of watching your kids. We all are. We are not your nanny. We are not your babysitter. We have our own children to play with and keep out of harm's way.
I am sorry to inform you of our decision in this letter. As a man, my first inclinations in dealing with a breakup were to give you the "It's not you, it's me" speech or sleep with your best friend. But since it is you and not me and my wife probably wouldn't care much for me sleeping with someone else, this was the only other option available.
And I realize that I should have hand delivered this message to you and not stuck it on your windshield in the middle of the night, but I'm a coward.
Hugs & Kisses,
Chag
P.S. Don't shoot the messenger!
***
Of course, I didn't really send the above letter. But we're getting closer and closer with each passing playdate.
Is there a person in your playgroup who doesn't adequately watch his or her child(ren) and leaves that responsibility to the other parents? If so, how did you deal with him or her?
We would like to do this as nicely as possible. We've talked about going to another playground (but our current playground is at a central location for all of us) or switching times (again, our current time is the one that is the most ideal for all of us). We've dropped some not-so-subtle hints to no avail.
Wit's end here, people. Any suggestions? Laura? Mary?
Playground Politics: How Do You Evict Someone From Your Playgroup?
